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If youre feeling generous and want to save some lives

The auction is OVER! Thanks to you and your bids, we raised several hundred dollars for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

We have one more giveaway still open until MIDNIGHT tonight (10/6, 11:59pm EST, to be precise)

You get one entry for every one dollar you donate.

The prizes are kind of neat.

I know my first book hasn't come out yet, but I do have 7 under contract, so if you win, that's what you'll get from me. My Guards of the Shadowlands series from Amazon Children's Publishing, Scan and Burn from Putnam/Penguin, and Factory Ghost (plus another book) from McElderry/Simon & Schuster.

Also, I won't be able to offer full manuscript critiques once my book is published, so if you're interested in getting a thorough crit from a soon-to-be-multi-published author who has a doctorate in psychology, this is your chance. :)

I can also tell you that Justine is a pretty good critiquer herself--she's read all of my manuscripts and always makes them better.

OH, AND EVERY DOLLAR YOU DONATE WILL FUND SUICIDE PREVENTION.

If you want to donate, enter here ... and send your email receipt to dell(dot)justine(at)gmail(dot)com:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

OOSH

Oh ello.

I'm happy! Woop woop, as the kids say. Or something.

'As the kids say' is pretty relevant seeing as I have a mere 72 days of childhood left, before I technically become, what is called, an ADULT. I'm expecting to wake up on the morning of Friday 9th September 2011 still as a 17 year old. But as it hits 8:51am, the time of my first breath, and, let's be honest, the time you all knew that the world would change forever with my existence (yes, even those not yet born. YOUR MUM AND DAD'S SPERM AND EGGS KNEW), pathways of neurons and such will suddenly change in my brain, like train tracks do, and I will officially become an adult. In that moment I will stand up (I'll probably be sitting down) and go up to various girls going "You're not going out dressed like that.", respond to every question, including ones from teachers, with "We'll see.", and leave my class exclaiming, "I have a very important phonecall to make to the bank about my tax return." That is what I'm expecting MIGHT happen, anyway. I'm assuming that flame all (I'm doing this new thing where I'm replacing 'fuck' with 'flame') will happen and I'll carry on being a child, which I intend to do for the majority of my life.

THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING:
It's hot and sunny! I'm burnt! Hooray! No srsly, my legs up to the middle of my thigh and left half of my face are bright red. It's so attractive...to bulls. Made the amateur mistake of sunbathing with a skirt on so the top halves of my thighs are white. I look like a magnet. On the plus side (north side?) my burnt skin turns brown usually so I will have summer legs in no time.

Speaking of summer, it's only 24 days until I go to Kos with my best friend. TWENTY FOUR. TWO AND FOUR. TWENTY FIVE MINUS ONE. SIX TIMES FOUR. The tickets arrived in the post yesterday and after flicking through all the sheets of paper, I realised that I have no idea what any of it means. If someone asks for a specific document then we will just have to give them everything and they can take what they need. Nothing's going to go wrong at all, is it? *over the plane tannoy* "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Thank you for travelling this Air China flight. We are cruising at an altitude of 40,000 feet, and will arrive in Hong Kong in approximately 15 hours." ".....oh dear."


I have a potentially brilliant book idea! What? I've said that before? No, honest! This is it! This is THE ONE! I'm going to stick with it this time, because I've actually loved the sound of it for more than two days now. Clearly a winner. If you're not following me on Twitter, then you won't have heard how much I enjoyed HarperCollins. I really really really like the sound of being a book editor, aside from being an author, and had a brilliant talk with one of the main editors on my last day about the role of an author AND editor. So my plan is to write this amazing book of mine, send it to her, sign a contract, and get it published. Simple. Because that's how it works, right? Right?

Blog, I just want to say that I do love you dearly and can we possibly our differences behind us? Oh there there, web log, don't cry. I know it's been tough recently for BOTH of us, but everything's fine now! Look, even Chris Floyd has done a fab 140 Characters project, where 'The' people of Twitter have said why the site's so ace. We're cool now, you and me. :) See, there's even an emoticon to express our happiness. *shoulder nudge* LET'S GO EAT SOME SPAG BOL. X

Depression Anger Sherrys Testimony

Everyone who suffers from depression struggles with anger to some degree. It may be focused or unfocused, or be primarily directed at depression’s symptoms as well as towards our own mind and body for ruining our life by never ceasing to manufacture those symptoms month after month. Focused anger can be towards whatever or whoever caused the depression, towards God for allowing this thing to befall us, or even towards the enemy.

My sister in Christ, Sherry Castellucio, has kindly granted me permission to reprint here an article she wrote called, ‘Fighting Depression.’ She shares her testimony of her life long battle with depression and its accompanying anger.


FIGHTING DEPRESSION, by Sherry Castelluccio

The best way I’ve heard depression described is “anger turned inward”. It can be a real vicious anger, depending on the week. It’s a debilitating, mean-spirited, cruel monster with little regard for the rest of the world. It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay at home mom or if you’re a teenager just trying to survive. You could be an old lady, living at home by yourself with all of your family away in other parts of the country, or you could be a widower who just lost the love of your life. It’s no respecter of persons and doesn’t care about age, race, or religion. If you are human, you are susceptible. If you’ve had it before you’re even more of a target.

Over the years, I’ve found the simplest way to fight it is just to accept it. Yes, I have depression but no, I’m not going to allow it to rule my life. The biggest help I’ve ever given myself was to figure out what parts of it I can control and what parts I need help with. I can’t control the fact that it’s genetic and sometimes appears, regardless of how hard I fight to contain it. After the birth of my child, it buried me. Suddenly I was enmeshed in things I had no control over and my body literally shut down like a computer hard drive. There was simply too much information to process.

I remember feeling so incredibly angry but had not the foggiest idea why. Surrounded by in-laws, an intrusive mother, and a newborn became too much to handle all at once. I had to learn how to function as a person and learn how to keep the voices at bay, and eventually disappear. I had to accept that for a while the only elixir was medication.

The parts I can control are a bit trickier. I know what I have to do to make this better, but I have to decide what I’m going to do about it. I have to choose within myself how I’m going to live today, being bitter and angry or choosing to come out of it, albeit ever so slowly. I have to know what makes me feel good and even if I have no desire to participate in those things, I know I must if I am to make it out alive and able to be the person my family needs me to be. It’s much easier to admit I can’t live this way when there are people at home that need me.

Still, there are those days when I would much rather curl myself up into the foetal position and sleep the day away, forgetting everything and everyone in my life. Shirking my responsibilities and ignoring my needs are tempting, but not realistic. It’s my responsibility to make this home run smoothly and raise my child the best way I know how. It’s impossible to be productive when I’m zonked out in bed.

The Lord has been so faithful in pulling me out. He never fails to reveal himself in those dark times when I feel so empty, so lifeless. He is there reminding me that if I just give a little bit, try just a tiny fraction, He’ll bless me for it. It is work but I give in to Him because I know that He is right. It isn’t worth it to indulge in myself because I get nothing out of it. Giving in to myself is the last great mistake.

What words of comfort can I give to someone who struggles as I do? Remember that the devil is a liar, you are loved and it is possible to go on today. Recognize your anger for what it is and do something constructive about it.

Are you bored at home? Pick up that hobby you put down. Are you lonely? Call that friend you haven’t spoken to in months. You will both be glad you did. Is your body physically sick? Go sit outside in the sun for a few minutes. Find the one thing that makes you smile and drink it up.

Surround yourself with children, rent a comedy, finger paint. You are here because God put you here with a purpose. Find out what it is, make it your ambition to find out what you can do to bless others. I have found that the fastest way to bust Satan in the teeth is to do something for someone else. It puts a stop to the feelings of sadness and makes you feel alive and full of purpose, all at the same time. Make yourself laugh. It’s the simplest, most inexpensive cure there is and the most readily available. It changes your whole outlook.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. (Psalm 139:14) Allow this truth to embrace you and accept you. You are His child and he loves you as if you were the only one on this earth.

I have suffered from depression my whole life but I refuse to allow it to consume me and to dictate how I will live. My master is my Saviour Jesus Christ. I submit to his laws, not the laws of depression. There are some days that I am happy simply because I am alive and loved. There are other days when I must decide that I’m going to be happy, regardless of what my body or mind is telling me. It’s those days, when I have to make the most effort to really choose to smile that I know God is with me. Those are the days when I know I’m winning.

Fighting depression is no easy thing. Half the battle is won when you can stand back and decide that your life is good, even if Satan is trying to convince you otherwise. And in the end, the joke’s on him. He can’t be happy because he can’t be in the presence of the Lord. Now that is a depressing thought.

© 2005 Sherry Castelluccio

Download an ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles

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Deja Vu Blogfest Cognitive Therapy for Writers

Today is the Deja Vu Blogfest! Hosted by DL Hammons, Lydia Kang, Nicole Ducleroir, and Katie Mills (Creepy Query Girl), this one's all about a post-gone-by. Here's mine. I originally posted it about a year ago, near the end of December. It was actually the second in a two-post series called "Cognitive Therapy for Writers." The first is here. This one's all about how to conquer those thoughts that get you down ...


Raaaawr! All right. So, we've established that everyone has a Sneaky Brain, the part of you that whispers all sorts of nasty things that make you feel bad.

 You know, like:

• If I don't get an agent or get published, I freaking suck as a writer.
• Because that agent/editor rejected me, I am a failure.
• I got a few rejections this week/today/in the last hour, so that means no one will ever want to represent/publish me.
• I wrote one book/chapter/page/sentence, and now I can't think of what to write next. I've run out of words FOREVAH!!!!! AAAAAAH!!!!!!!

Let's pause right here and acknowledge that not everyone who writes is going to end up a published author. That's the way it is. Language is powerful, but it can be difficult to wield. The art of storytelling adds another level of difficulty. And then there's marketability ... whoa.

SO, taking into account that I, or you, might be among those who reach as far as we can but still can't close our hands around that elusive prize, how do we keep feeling OK? How do we keep our Sneaky Brains from sapping us of whatever talent and energy and creativity we have? How do we stay on track and keep writing, keep telling the stories we want to tell?

We all have Smart Brains, too. We should use them.

Don't be afraid to fight dirty.

 1. Recognize those sneaky thoughts. Listen hard. You have to HEAR and recognize what Sneaky's saying, because those thoughts can become pretty automatic over time, meaning you stop hearing them and just skip straight to the drinking-Wild-Turkey part of the equation. Don't. Listen. What do you hear?

If you hear any of the following words, perk up and slap on those boxing gloves:

ALWAYS
NEVER
SHOULD
ONLY
FOREVER

If you find yourself thinking "sure, I had some success a year/month/day/hour ago, but THAT DOESN'T COUNT ... ", do some pushups, man, because you've got some work to do.


Or if you hear "since she rejected me, that means EVERYONE will", strap on some brass knuckles. You've got a fight on your hands.

After you've recognized what the Sneaky Brain is saying ...


Just like this dude.
But probably not as ripped.



2. Recognize Sneaky as a bully. Sure, it's inside your brain, but that don't mean it speaks the truth. When I work with kids, we "externalize the problem". Picture me (see stick figure above) talking in funny voices with puppets strapped on my 18-inch fingers.



 OK, don't. Instead, picture Sneaky sitting in front of you--and see what a liar it is. Those things it's whispering are a one-way ticket to depression. Despair. Giving up. What right does it have to do that to you? What right does ANYONE HAVE TO DO THAT TO YOU?!? I don't care if the bully resides between your ears. It's still a bully.

Once you recognize that:

3. Confront the bully and talk back to it. Logic is not its friend. If someone's done something to upset you, like they rejected you or gave you a bit of harsh feedback, and your Sneaky Brain is saying "it's because they hate your writing and think you're a tool", use your Smart Brain to say, "Really? 'Cuz

1. they only read a tiny sample of my writing--or only a query, or
2. they had some nice things to say, too, or
3. I got a request/compliment, etc. from this same person/similarly skilled person(s) before, or
4. they probably spent a total of 60 seconds looking at it because they had 300 other queries waiting, or
5. the idea probably just didn't float their boat, but it could float other boats ...

You get the point. Use your Smart Brain to be ... smart? Use logic. Be a skeptic. If the Sneaky Brain says you're a failure because you got one rejection, I mean, WTF? Really? How many agents and editors are out there?

If it says "you should have an agent by now" or "you always mess this up" or "you will never ..." Oh, geez. What does it know? This process is frustrating enough without Sneaky going to illogical extremes. Use your Smart Brain to question how the things it says could possibly be true. If you can't, that just means your Smart Brain's out of shape, NOT that Sneaky speaks the truth.

And if it whispers "the only way to be successful and happy is to get published," your Smart Brain should be screaming, "I am more than a writer. And there are many kinds of writers. And I write for many reasons. And sometimes, the end result isn't what it's about. Sometimes, it's the JOURNEY." Then, maybe toss out some obscene hand gestures for good measure. Stupid Sneaky Brain. Gut it with a spoon, my friends. That's what it deserves.

You don't have to be the only one who talks back to Sneaky. I'll bet you have friends or family or beta-readers or intriguing-strangers-you-meet-in-a-coffee-shop who can help you. Listen to their encouragement and don't discount it. But know this: no voice will ever pack a punch as powerful as your own Smart Brain.

So ... confession time. I'll be going on submission sometime in the new year*. And you know what? I'm going to be using every single one of these strategies every single day to stay calm and sane and happy. I know it won't always be easy. I know my Smart Brain won't win every round. BUT, I also know my Smart Brain is pretty damn smart. No matter what happens, I'm going to be OK. I'm going to be successful. And I'm going to define what that means for myself--I won't let anyone, including my own Sneaky Brain, define it for me.

That shapeless lump is my vanquished Sneaky Brain.

What about you? What challenge are you facing now? What's that Sneaky Brain telling you? And just how do you plan to kick its a$$??

*HEY! Guess what? I lived through it! Sane (for the most part)! And still happy, still writing, still looking forward to whatever comes next.

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