Cognitive Therapy For Writers Part II Revenge of the Smart Brain



Raaaawr! All right. So, we've established that everyone has a Sneaky Brain, the part of you that whispers all sorts of nasty things that make you feel bad.
You know, like:

• If I don't get an agent or get published, I freaking suck as a writer.
• Because that agent/editor rejected me, I am a failure.
• I got a few rejections this week/today/in the last hour, so that means no one will ever want to represent/publish me.
• I wrote one book/chapter/page/sentence, and now I can't think of what to write next. I've run out of words FOREVAH!!!!! AAAAAAH!!!!!!!

Let's pause right here and acknowledge that not everyone who writes is going to end up a published author. Not everyone who writes is even good enough to be published. Period. That's the way it is. Language is powerful, but it can be difficult to wield. The art of storytelling adds another level of difficulty. And then there's marketability ... whoa.

SO, taking into account that I, or you, might be among those who reach as far as we can but still can't close our hands around that elusive prize, how do we keep feeling OK? How do we keep our Sneaky Brains from sapping us of whatever talent and energy and creativity we have? How do we stay on track and keep writing, keep telling the stories we want to tell?

We all have Smart Brains, too. We should use them.

Don't be afraid to fight dirty.

 1. Recognize those sneaky thoughts. Listen hard, my loves. You have to HEAR and recognize what Sneaky's saying, because those thoughts can become pretty automatic over time, meaning you stop hearing them and just skip straight to the drinking-Wild-Turkey part of the equation. Don't. Listen. What do you hear?

If you hear any of the following words, perk up and slap on those boxing gloves:

ALWAYS
NEVER
SHOULD
ONLY
FOREVER

If you find yourself thinking "sure, I had some success a year/month/day/hour ago, but THAT DOESN'T COUNT ... ", do some pushups, man, because you've got some work to do.

Or if you hear "since she rejected me, that means EVERYONE will", strap on some brass knuckles. You've got a fight on your hands.

After you've recognized what the Sneaky Brain is saying ...

2. Recognize Sneaky as a bully. Sure, it's inside your brain, but that don't mean it speaks the truth, baby. When I work with kids, we "externalize the problem". Picture me (see stick figure above) talking in funny voices with puppets strapped on my 18-inch fingers.


Just like this dude.
But probably not as ripped.

 OK, don't. Instead, picture Sneaky sitting in front of you--and see what a liar it is. Those things it's whispering are a one-way ticket to depression. Despair. Giving up. What right does it have to do that to you? What right does ANYONE HAVE TO DO THAT TO YOU?!? I don't care if the bully resides between your ears. It's still a bully.






Once you recognize that:

3. Confront the bully and talk back to it. Because, seriously, logic is not its friend.

If someone's done something to upset you, like they rejected you or gave you a bit of harsh feedback, and your Sneaky Brain is saying "it's because they hate your writing and think you're a tool", use your Smart Brain to say, "Really? 'Cuz

1. they only read a tiny sample of my writing--or only a query, or
2. they had some nice things to say, too, or
3. I got a request/compliment, etc. from this same person/similarly skilled person(s) before, or
4. they probably spent a total of 60 seconds looking at it because they had 300 other queries waiting, or
5. the idea probably just didn't float their boat, but it could float other boats ...

You get the point. Use your Smart Brain to be ... smart? Use logic. Be a skeptic. If the Sneaky Brain says you're a failure because you got one rejection, I mean, WTF? Really? How many agents and editors are out there?

If it says "you should have an agent by now" or "you always mess this up" or "you will never ..." Oh, geez. What does it know? This process is frustrating enough without Sneaky going to illogical extremes. "Always"? Yeah? Use your Smart Brain to question how that could possibly be true. If you can't, that just means your Smart Brain's out of shape, NOT that Sneaky speaks the truth.

And if it whispers "the only way to be successful and happy is to get published," your Smart Brain should be screaming, "I am more than a writer. And there are many kinds of writers. And I write for many reasons. And sometimes, the end result isn't what it's about. Sometimes, it's the JOURNEY." Then, maybe toss out some obscene hand gestures for good measure. Stupid Sneaky Brain. Gut it with a spoon, my friends. That's what it deserves.

You don't have to be the only one who talks back to Sneaky. I'll bet you have friends or family or beta-readers or intriguing-strangers-you-meet-in-a-coffee-shop who can help you. Listen to their encouragement and don't discount it. But know this: no voice will ever pack a punch as powerful as your own Smart Brain.

So ... confession time. I'll be going on submission in the new year. And you know what? I'm going to be using every single one of these strategies every single day to stay calm and sane and happy. I know it won't always be easy. I know my Smart Brain won't win every round. BUT, I also know my Smart Brain is pretty damn smart. No matter what happens, I'm going to be OK. I'm going to be successful. And I'm going to define what that means for myself--I won't let anyone, including my own Sneaky Brain, define it for me.

That shapeless lump is my vanquished Sneaky Brain.

What about you? What challenge are you facing now? What's that Sneaky Brain telling you? And just how do you plan to kick its a$$??

Conquering Writers Block IV BRAIN CLOG

Today I'll continue my series on conquering writer's block. The other posts are here (introducing the model), here (going over the "flavors"), and here (about how to dissect the "when life gets in the way" flavor of writer's block).

 

And now we get to ...

 

BRAIN CLOG.

 

Writers have to accomplish a lot of different stuff. In addition to writing all the words, we have to craft a clever plot that surprises and engages the reader. That's kind of difficult sometimes, and it's natural to get stuck. On a scene, a plot twist, a character motivation ... A LOT of writers told me that this kind of stalls them out sometimes

 

Many of the tips I see for writers are things like "just write!" or some variation on that. BUT--if you've got the BC flavor of writer's block, "just write!" isn't likely to work as well for you. It could result in an intensification of your frustration and stuckness. I would know. One of my big problems, actually, is that, when I get stuck, my brain goes into this mode:

 

I worry at that problem until I can't see straight. I dream about it. It is all I think about while I commute. And as I do, I get more ... and more ... and more ... well, crazypants, for lack of a better term. But no closer to solving my problem. You know the only thing that ends up relieving this kind of STUCKness?

 



 

So really, you have to get off the hamster wheel. If you're on overwhelm, if you're just stuck, it's actually best to step away for a little while and think of other things. How many of you have come to a solution while thinking about something completely different? Your brain is amazing. Let it do its work. And, failing that, get another perspective! Talk to one of your critique partners. Don't argue, and don't decide pre-emptively whether or not the suggestions will work. Just let them sit for a while.

Now ... if you do this, if you step away and give your brain permission to wander, you have to be aware of when/if that wandering turns in to avoidance. It can happen. Think of your thoughts as green fruit, gradually ripening as you let them sit in the sunlight. If you stay away too long, the risk of them going rotten and turning into something gross that you'd pretty much do anything to avoid cleaning up ... gets higher by the day.

Which is why, on Monday, we shall talk about a little something called AVOIDANCE. Otherwise known as: THE CYCLE OF DOOM.

Until then, my friends, have an excellent weekend!

Suicidal mind and suicidal brain

A vignette

About six months back a retired government executive and his wife came to my consulting office and narrated the story of his son Mr. S.’s alcohol addiction and sought for my help in rescuing him from the clutches of the liquor. I interviewed the couple in detail and got an idea how his son became alcohol addict. The couple reluctantly narrated the story. Mr. S. married a beautiful girl, Ms. V., by arrangement. They had had a son, who is now 7 years old. Ms. V. started an affair with one of the common friends of the young couple. Mr. S. came know about his wife’s affair accidentally. Ms. V. confessed, apologized, and promised to eschew the affair forthwith. Mr. S. agreed to continue the marital relationship, but he started drinking to immerse the agony. He became mentally and physically dependent on alcohol. I asked the couple who narrated tragic story to bring his son to the deaddiction centre for the treatment of alcoholism. I also warned them of the suicidal risk of their son. I explained to them that morbid jealousy and associated depression may prompt their son to commit suicide. Added to it alcoholism doubled the risk of suicide. He required treatment for alcoholism and cognitive psychotherapy for his depression. I requested them bring their son to me even if he is not willing to get admitted for deaddiction treatment, because the urgent need is psychotherapy to avert the suicidal risk. The senior couple didn’t turn up again, nor did they bring their son to me. Recently I came to know about the sad news of Mr. S.’s suicide by hanging.    

Changing views on suicide

The term ‘suicide’ has only a relatively recent history. Roy O’Connor, fellow of the International Academy for Suicide Research and a member of the American Association of Suicidology, says there is no recorded use before the year 1634. Previously the act of suicide was referred to in various forms including self-destruction and self-killing. In the Old Testament and New Testament of the Bible there are many examples of self-killing. The Bible mentions six specific people who committed suicide: Abimelech (Judges 9:54), Saul (1 Samuel 31:4), Saul's armor-bearer (1 Samuel 31:4-6), Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23), Zimri (1 Kings 16:18), and Judas (Matthew 27:5). Five of them were wicked, sinful men (not enough is said regarding Saul's armor-bearer to make a judgment as to his character). Some consider Samson an instance of suicide (Judges 16:26-31), but Samson's goal was to kill the Philistines, not himself. These instances are just neutral descriptions without any positive or negative allusions.  According to the Bible, suicide is not what determines whether a person gains entrance into heaven. 

For the ancient Greeks, suicide was seen as acceptable if it were undertaken for reasons that were viewed as justifiable, such as grief or to avoid dishonor. The Romans too viewed suicide without judgment.

From around 400 Common Era (CE), the Christian Church began to express disquiet about the act of suicide. In the Council of Braga (now in Portugal) held in 566 CE “prohibited masses to be said for the souls of those dying by suicide and the comfort for them of a Christian burial in hallowed ground.” (Discovering God’s Will For Your Life by Ray Pritchard p.10) In the fifteenth century suicide led to sever sanctions due to the influence of the Christian Church. The Church’s moral objection to suicide seemed to centre on what was believed to be a loss or rejection of hope, and thus taking a ‘stand’ against God.

The development of psychiatry as a distinct discipline within medicine  brought suicide into the realm of illness.

Types of suicide

Emile Durkheim

One of the most influential writers on suicide was the French sociologist Emil Durkheim. He asserted that suicide did not take place in isolation, but was  instead a consequence of interplay between the individual and societal pressures and influences. In his writing he proposed four ‘types’ of suicides:

1. Egoistic suicide. Suicide occurs due to marginalization, with little social support and a sense of estrangement from society. The greater the disconnection between individual and society, the greater is the risk of suicide.
2. Altruistic suicide. It might be accurate to describe altruistic suicide as the opposite of egoistic suicide, in that suicide occurs when the individual has become too integrated within society. That is, the experience of societal expectation and pressure becomes too great, with the individual feeling unable to meet these demands.  
3. Anomic suicide. An individual is in need of stability. He/she should be in equilibrium with his/her status within the society. External changes, such as loss of status cause emotional distress for the individual, who no longer has a sense of containment and clarity regarding his/her role. Increase in suicides during times of economic recession has a link with this type of suicide.
4. Fatalistic suicide. Opposite to anomic suicide, fatalistic suicide occurs when  and individual  feels excessively controlled, with little or no sense of control over their own future or destiny.

Suicide has prominence in other cultural and religious beliefs. In the Hindu religion suicide is not seen as acceptable for males, whereas for females the idea of suicide after bereavement as honourable is held, though it is prohibited now.

Prevention of suicide

1.         EdwinS. Shneidman (1918 - 2009) father of contemporary suicidology (the branch of science which study suicides) suggested that the key to preventing suicide is in the direct study of the human emotions. On the other hand Professor C. Van Heeringen, stressed the importance of understanding suicidal brain.(British Journal of Psychiatry 2003, 183:282-284) 

Cognitive process leading to suicide

A large number of studies have evidenced the existence of dysfunctional cognitive processes which are associated to a vulnerability to suicide, for example decision making and problem resolving processes. These deficits could represent factors associated to stress sensitivity, notably social. In stressful situations, they could increase the individual’s risk of experiencing feelings of despair, psychological pain, ruminations, and suicidal ideation; and in certain cases, to commit suicide.

Aron T. Beck

According to the American psychiatrist Aron T. Beck, who is considered as the father of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), the critical role that hopelessness plays in suicide is illustrated in the sequence of events that leads a depressed individual to commit suicide. The person systematically construes his or her experience in a negative way and anticipates dire outcomes for his or her problems. Ultimately, the person is drawn into an idea of suicide as way out of his or her “insoluble problems”. (Relationship Between Hopelessness AndUltimate Suicide by Aron T. Beck) The central role of hopelessness in suicidal idea formation has been established by empirical researches.

Suicidal brain

Frontal Cortex (orange)

It has been shown that these cognitive difficulties are associated to the dysfunction of particular brain regions such as the prefrontal cortex and other regions. The frontal lobes appear to be essential, with the right frontal lobe having a central role in the neural network for social cognition, including inferences about feelings of others. The ventral medial frontal regions are also important, possibly through their connections with the amygdala and other limbic structures which give them a key role in the neural network for behavioural modulation based upon emotion and drives. It has been difficult to dissociate social cognitive processes from the behavioural expression of these processes, but information is rapidly increasing based upon recent neuropsychological and neuro-imaging studies. Brain regions shown to be involved in suicidal behaviour constitute what may be called the ‘suicidal brain’.

The Books That Feed My Brain

This month's Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog question came from Deb, who asked: What type of book do you read for writing inspiration, and why? Do you read fiction or non-fiction, and what genres? Mysteries and YA, or archeology and astronomy?

Laura's answer is here, and Lydia's is here. Deb will be up next week. As for me ...

I've learned a lot about writing and storytelling from other writers. I've been knocked flat by the beauty and power in their prose, by the intricacy of their plotting, the individuality of their characters. I've gotten hooked by ideas that just wouldn't leave me alone. A few things that have inspired me (to name only a few of many):

The stark rhythms and brittle fragility of Wintergirls, by Laurie Halse Anderson.

The lyricism and longing in Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater.

The exploration of identity and loyalty in Camo Girl, by Kekla Magoon.

The flat eeriness and dread of Descent Into Hell, by Charles Williams. 

The conceptualization of the afterlife in The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis.

The frightening ease with which good people become evil in The Lucifer Effect, by Phil Zimbardo.

The phenomenal pacing and timing of The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins

I could go on and on, but I'll stop there. How about you? What books have inspired you and why?

Are You Right or Left Brain Thinker!