Pain Pain and More Pain

Well Christmas has come and gone and Santa failed in relieving some of my pain. I was such a good girl this year... so why did he forget me?

Anyway, I ended up in hospital AGAIN just before New Years. Now anyone who reads my blog knows that I despise hospitals so that is an indicator to my state. My trigeminal neuralgia pain hit entire new levels. Every single fecking time I say that this pain cannot get any worse... I am proven wrong. The pain intensity is inhuman and I get absolutely no low pain moments. I am also constantly dizzy and faint, and I get a sick feeling in my stomach and tingling pain all over my body. My left arm and hands are either numb, sore or completely dead. My GP was concerned about the new symptoms so he sent me to Beaumont. 

I don't know how much more of this crap I can take. After an ass numbing 9 hours in steel chairs and examinations by two nurses and three doctors, the solution was increased meds and a prescription of oxynorm. Now, I know for a fact that opioids and analgesics have no effect on my pain, so why did the young neurology doctor in Beaumont write me a prescription for oxynorm? Well I think that the young man hadn't a fecking clue what to do, and I actually felt sorry for him. Trigeminal Neuralgia is rare, so I can forgive him for not knowing about the condition. He does work in the neurology department though so he should know something about neuropathic pain? 

He wanted me to stay the night and see the consultant in the morning, but I refused. Spending the night in a chair without a blanket or pillow causes more pain and distress. I am not exaggerating when I say that it is actual hell. I also had no interest in seeing the consultant for about two minutes until he moved onto the next patient. The bottom line is this: I need something to be done. I can't wait for months or years while my entourage of doctors use me as a walking and talking guinea pig and they don't care that my quality of life is slipping away. 

My Tegretol is being increased and I am feeling worse not better. I am very sensitive to medications and the tiny amount of oxynorm I am prescribed knocks me out. 

Men have walked on the moon, atoms have been split, and yet there is no cure for the most painful condition known to humankind. What the fucking hell is going on? I know that I am not alone, and that is frustrating. I am due to see my pain specialist later on in the month and a neurosurgeon in March. Let me say here that I will not paint on a smile and agree that their "solutions" are good ones. I am in pain, I am angry and I am sad. I can hardly walk in a straight line! I am only 29 years old. Enough is enough.